I’ve been gone from here a long time. Maybe you’ve even noticed. It’s been so long I nearly forgot that I had this website, blog, and worse that I had been working to update it. That was years ago now already. There are a million perfectly reasonable explanations for why I haven’t been here and any one of them would suffice I suppose, but they wouldn’t be the truth of why I haven’t been here, writing. The truth? The truth is I have been lost. Somewhere along the way I strayed from my path and stopped living my authentic life, my truth. Sure, I recognized it from time to time, but you see it was much easier to accept one of those million explanations and in so doing not even recognize what was happening to me. It was subtle as I imagine these things are, like weight gain that creeps up on you until suddenly none of your clothes fit. Well, my clothes don’t fit anymore. You’d think that would be enough-that realization. Enough to re-commit to finding my way back. It wasn’t. First, apparently, I had to take even more time to criticize and judge myself for allowing myself to veer so far off course after all I had done to get on course in the first place. Again, those million explanations seemed to be a perfect fit to ease my conscience for a while. Then one day they weren’t. Why? I’m not entirely certain, but it has something to do with the words of my grandfather urging me on one day while I was sitting on my deck just enjoying the quiet. I felt it in my body, in that place of knowing that is mine. Suddenly everything shifted. And I mean everything. I was free again. Free to once more step out of the darkness and back into the light where the truth is. I won’t lie, there are still shadows from time to time. I think there always will be. I am human. I have doubts and sometimes am afraid which casts shadows on my path, but the shadows don’t have to cripple me or derail me so completely. I know that now. I can live my truth, occasional shadows and all. Part of my truth is writing. It is through my writing that I find my way, always has been. And it is in my writing that maybe someone else can find the way to their own truth. Who knows? What I do know is that I must write. Write for me, for my life, my truth. All it takes is one word…
