Mary-Elizabeth Briscoe, M.A., LCMHC, CAGCS Intuitive Grief Counselor, Author & Educator
Mary-Elizabeth Briscoe, M.A., LCMHC, CAGCS Intuitive Grief Counselor, Author & Educator

A Loss is a loss is a loss…

As we continue through this holiday season many of us are feeling the ache of missing someone no longer with us. Some are without beloved pets, some without family or friends, some without good health and some are losing jobs. There are as I have and will write so many kinds of loss. A few days ago I sat outside on my deck, masked and gloved as I picked my way through a lifetime of Christmas memories. Boxes of ornaments and decorations I have collected over the course of my life. The handmade reindeers, snow globes, and pinecone ornaments carefully crafted by nieces and nephews when they were young, the stocking my sister made for me all those years ago, my collection of snowglobes, each one with its own story. Memories of Christmases past, of places and people along the journey of my life so far danced across my mind while tears fell wetting my mask.

The mask I wore in order to protect myself from the mold that had crept into these boxes and attached itself to my treasures just as it did to my body. A toxic mold illness that continues to wreak havoc in my life and leave me with more and more kinds of loss.  

Nearly all of my treasured items now lay in the trash can out back, near where the motorcycle that I  can no longer ride sits waiting for me to sell it so it can bring the freedom and joy it gave me to someone else. And as I write this I manage anxiety and excitement as I explore options for my future.

All these losses compound the grief I feel as the days tick down to the anniversary of my father’s death and a Christmas without him, without Fergus, without so many loved ones now gone from my life.

So many kinds of losses. We each experience a multitude of losses that impact our lives and relationships. I share some of mine, not for sympathy, but for acknowledgment of them so that others who suffer in isolation might find comfort or connection in these words if nothing else. And that seems worth sharing for.

In the coming days, I will make every attempt to write more and offer whatever  I can that might bring a moment’s peace, a connection, an acknowledgment that if nothing else we don’t have to be silent and alone in our grief, no matter what we are grieving. Unless of course you want or need to be alone with it-the choice belongs to each one of us. Remember, it is our grief, our way…